The Real Story About the UCS Automobile

July 23rd, 2010

I have a very convoluted family background – from being a long, lost relative of the late Marie Antoinette to being an ashamed relative of a modern day actor that can’t seem to stay out of jail.  Somewhere in between, I have a whole slew of relatives with the last name of “Wagonseller”.  As you may have guessed, they sold wagons and buggies powered by horses.  I’ve often wondered what it must have been like to be a “Wagonseller” during the years after October 1, 1908 – the day the Ford Model T was introduced.  I can just imagine all the fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD) my long lost family members were probably spouting as a result of having to compete with Ford’s entrance into the transportation industry in North America with a product that was destined to be a market changer.

Well, an article recently published by one of Cisco’s competitors (http://h30458.www3.hp.com/ww/en/ent/1000692.html) made me think of my family, the Wagonsellers.  As I was reading the article, I kept laughing out loud because I could just picture the Wagonsellers writing a similar article out of fear of the newly released automobile. Their article would have just enough truth mixed in with the FUD to make it sound legitimate but, ultimately, it would argue points that are either based on non-shipping products or argue points that are completely irrelevant to a new architecture design. To help you understand what I mean in regards to “just enough truth to make it sound legitimate”, I’ve written the article below in memory of my long, lost relatives, the Wagonsellers.

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The Usual Disclaimer… I work for Cisco. Opinions expressed here and in any corresponding comments are my personal opinions, not those of Cisco.
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July 1910 – The automobile manufacturers have been in full gear since late 1908 touting their first attempt at a transportation vehicle, the so called Under-carriage Combustion System automobile (herein referred to as “UCS automobile”). Now that UCS automobiles have been in the market for a little over one year, we thought it would be useful to take a closer look at the facts, separated from the marketing hyperbole. While in theory UCS automobiles compete with the Horse Powered buggy (herein referred to as “HP buggy”), the leadership of horse powered transportation has been validated by centuries of innovation, real world experience, and market leadership.

Please consider the following facts:

Fact 1: The UCS automobile lacks the real world validation points that the HP buggy delivers.

The market leadership and scale demonstrated by the HP buggy far outpaces anything the UCS automobile can muster and gives customers the peace of mind that is represented by this real world validation:

#1 in buggies: HP buggies have a commanding lead in the transportation market, with a 56.1% revenue share, and a 53.1% unit share. HP buggies have led the transportation market for 14 consecutive quarters. The UCS automobile has yet to break out of the “Others” category in the “Transportation Today” market data.
2M+ Buggies Shipped.
More than 2 Million HP buggies have shipped since tracking buggy selling began in 1854, shipping more than International Buggy Manufacturer and Discount Equine Lading Line COMBINED during this time.
3M+ virtual horse hoofs (called shoes) shipped.
24% of all horse shoes worldwide are made for horses pulling HP buggies. The UCS automobile claims shipment of only 1 million of a new, unproven, “tire” contraption that uses AIR instead of tried-and-true metal used in our world-famous HP buggy horse shoes.
4K+ Buggy reference.
A recent HP buggy reference consisted of 4352 HP buggies, 8704 horses, and 34,816 horse shoes.

Fact 2: HP buggies deliver 5x the bed width and 4x the number of real horses than the comparable UCS automobile allowing HP buggies to deliver 4x the hay bale hauling capacity and unlimited miles per gallon.

Requirements: Haul as many bales of hay as possible per trip.


Fact 3: The HP buggy can simplify transportation by hauling up to 16 bushels of corn with just 1 part versus at least 481 total parts for the UCS automobile to accomplish the same thing.


Fact 4: The UCS automobile design that uses petroleum fuel in a combustion engine forces trade-offs between speed and gas mileage.

Speed limits gas mileage: In order to reach the claimed average speed of 65 miles per hour, the driver is forced to consume the stored petroleum at a faster rate. The faster the driver drives, the less distance they can go before needing to re-fuel.

Gas mileage limits speed: To deliver the promised gas mileage efficiency, drivers are prevented from driving at the maximum speed that the UCS automobile allows.

Refilling the gas tank requires additional 3rd party fuel adding cost and complexity to each trip.

It was reported that a horse expert predicted the need for a UCS automobile design change to address increase gas mileage requirements for hauling larger workloads.
(Our “horse expert” was paid by us to conduct custom testing designed to validate our marketing message.)

Fact 5: The HP buggy delivers advantages in cooling and air flow, critical for passenger comfort.

Air flow: Due to the speed of the UCS automobile design, passengers may be forced to endure 6.2x more air flow than with the HP buggy design. HP buggy’s don’t force passengers to travel at speeds more than 9 miles per hour which prevents air flow from tangling hair and prevents “bug in teeth” syndrome. Also, since the HP buggy moves at a slower speed, air resistance is less and less hay is consumed by the HP buggy equine propulsion system leading to dramatic cost savings.

Cooling: The HP buggy delivers fresh, cool air to occupants at all times during the voyage. The UCS automobile has only recently added something called “air conditioning” that requires the occupant cabin to be completely enclosed, which may lead to suffocation of the passengers due to a lack of fresh oxygen.

Choice of hay, grass, and grain power: The UCS automobile’s use of a single source of fuel for their combustion system, gasoline, makes it much more complex to refuel between trips. The HP buggy was designed with the choice of hay, grass, grain, old apples, etc. as options for fueling the equine propulsion system.

Fact 6: The HP buggy manufacturers have an unmatched supply chain.

HP buggies are the leading method of transportation for riders of all ages around the world. HP buggies are also the leading transportation method for both small and large business. The supply chain used by HP buggy manufacturers enables “economies of scale” (horse shoes, hubs and spokes, cloth wagon covers, planting/growing/distribution of feed and grain) that the UCS automobile manufactures can not match. The HP buggy manufacturers are absolutely committed to offering the broadest choice of equine transportation methods based on industry standard horse breeding methodologies to address the wide range of passenger requirements.

Fact 7: The HP buggy delivers so much more than a UCS automobile can by itself.

The HP buggy brings added advantages to the table that are simply not included with the UCS automobile such as:

  • Equine waste can be used as garden fertilizer.
  • When the buggy is not needed, the horses can be used for plowing and hauling
  • Hay rides on HP buggies are great for entertaining guests

Bottom-line: The equine-drawn-carriage strategy as embodied by the HP buggy fits into your existing transportation processes and barn infrastructure (including the ability to drive HP buggies on the new roads built for UCS automobiles), offering end-to-end integration of horse, buggy, passenger, and hay hauling capacity. The HP buggy leadership in the transportation industry has been built over centuries of innovation (beginning with the invention of the wheel), experience, and leadership.

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Jul 23rd, 2010 | Posted in Cisco UCS
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  • Frank DAgostino

    I am assuming they can provide up to four wheels per buggy, despite the load it is carrying. Classic.

  • Brad TerEick

    Is it true that the HP Buggy can only control its speed on departure from the HP Buggy garage? I sure hope that the return buggy traffic is not conjested…

  • ChrisFricke

    Classic, indeed :) My only complaint is that the context of the auto is inconsistent. Comparing modern auto traits with 19th century buggy almost kills the point. Maybe it's nitpicky since I'm also a car guy but I'd have preferred a period correct comparison. Aside from that, Flexbuggy for the win!

  • fv

    Sorry Sean, your post is really nice and well done, but you can't beat HP marketing folks: they are best at creating ilarious and ridiculous stories :-)

  • German Gonzalez

    Hahaha simply hilarious!!!!

  • Jhoffman

    Not to mention the hp buggy group has a partnership with “tolly” grain supply firm that performed an assessment using hp stallions fueling the hp buggy as opposed to the ucs auto that was tested using only two tires and non refined gasoline! Lol great article I love it!